It’s been a while since I blogged here. I have actually been writing more for other outlets. I wrote a blog for ‘Dissonance’ online community (http://www.dissonance.website/) and then ‘Savour’ magazine (http://www.presspubs.com/savour/article_ef1441c0-0845-11e7-a272-4f98c5ed1918.html) asked me to write a quartlery series of articles about mental health, recovery and creativity! Phew. That’s been a lot to take on and has made me think a lot.
I have always written music as a way to express myself in a way that I never felt I could simply talking. It’s hard to open up and share sad stories, but set them to an upbeat tune, and people listen : )
I also get a little tired of feeling like I’m complaining all the time! I’m not, and I would hate for anyone to think I’m just mining my past and digging things up to be sad about. It’s not a complaint, it’s a release of love, grief, appreciation, and a tribute to my loved ones to sing about them.
People often say I sing like an angel! I totally blush at that, but it is a spiritual feeling for me to sing. It’s such a natural relief for me to sing. It’s always been my play, my companion, my escape. I feel my heart and my body opening up and it’s like taking a huge breath in and releasing it all out. When people listen to that and feel a connection, it is magical.
I have spent so many years trying to navigate my feelings and my place in the world that mental health issues crept up on me. I always had a million reasons to feel sad, and I didn’t know that depression had taken hold. It was probably always there and I’m grateful for the coping skills and the loving people in my life that helped to keep it at bay.
I am now on medication for depression and can feel the difference between sadness and depression. Its a profound difference that I am still getting acclimated to.
I know that going home will have highs and lows and I am ready for them. I always do best with goals. My goal is to write my next record during this trip. I have carved out a week break in my schedule so I can have quiet time to write.
I’m excited to see where the new songs will take me, and I’m grateful that my music is literally taking me home.